Hello, and welcome to Adventures of a Good Life! I'm Dianne, a 30-something mommy of 2 wanting to use my words to inspire my daughters, and others, to live a good life.
My good life in photos.
This past 3-day weekend consisted of mostly family time (the BEST kinds of weekends). On Sundays the whole family gets together to watch the Niner game, have dinner, and usually watch Once Upon A Time, a series we all have recently gotten into. The topic of conversation after dinner fell upon a sore subject. We started chatting about certain family members who have caused great strife, suffering, and turmoil within our family. Voices were raised, and tears were shed. The hurt that has been caused by them runs deep, and due to the nature of our family dynamic, nothing ever gets done about it. When people have tried to confront the issues in the past, the divide simply cuts deeper, causing all people involved to lose all hope of things ever being mended. It is a sad part of our history, past and present, but one that is still very real and unresolved.
But, there are lessons to be learned, and those lessons that have come from this part of our family life have been important in how I now view and deal with difficult situations/people. I realized that much of the distress was caused by issues of control – wanting to control situations and people…how they act, think, and react to what I say and do. Selfish, I know.
So I offer two pieces of advice to those out there that are holding on to a past hurt from a loved one:
#1 Think about what YOU have contributed to the situation.
It’s so easy for us to think we are completely innocent. I did nothing wrong. It was all her. She is the one who is causing drama. I have nothing to do with anything. While this may actually be the case in rare circumstances, most of the time there was a part that we, ourselves, played that contributed to the mess. Albeit we may have just been reacting to something the other person said/did, but nevertheless we are adding to an already negative situation. Instead, think about what you can do to help. Even if it was not your fault, what are you going to do to fix it?
#2 Understand that you cannot control other people.
You can only control your own actions, thoughts, and emotions. You cannot be responsible for what others do or say. So it’s ok to be upset and angry and hurt because of what another person did to you, but be upset and then let it go. Because you cannot spend all day dwelling on how another is choosing to live his/her life. Your energy should be spent on how you are choosing to live yours.
I have to work (and work, and work, and work) at being organized. What works for me are things that I can implement easily and right now.
I came across Becky Higgins’ (creator of Project Life, a scrapbooking system I die for…totally changed my life) blog today and she had a guest poster give organizational tips for the home. I thought that they were super simple and easy to follow. Totally would work for my lifestyle and accomplishing my goal of letting go of clutter. I especially want to try a couple of her tips for doing laundry (Remember my post about laundry? I need this in my life.)
- Do laundry only 1 day a week.
- Fold clothes out of the dryer.
- Sort into baskets belonging to various family members.
Go and check out the post! Hope some of you will find it useful!
Today I had a discussion with my students about forgiveness and loving your enemy. I asked them if there were people in their lives that they considered to be their enemy. To my surprise, more than half of my class raised their hands. I guess I was surprised because while I realize 12 and 13 year olds certainly dislike some people (this changes on the daily, let me tell you) I didn’t think so many had enemies. There were just as many who felt like they couldn’t forgive their enemies because the sin committed against them was too great.
This made me really sad. What a heavy burden it must be for such a young person to carry around. We discussed things we could do to help ourselves forgive. They suggested praying for their enemies, which I affirmed. I also made another suggestion – to pray for the conversion of their own heart, that maybe God could help them forgive, even when they think there’s no way they can. My students were surprised at this as it was something most of them haven’t thought of before.
Prayer doesn’t change situations, it changes the person. If we pray for God to help us to forgive those who have hurt us the most, we allow love to enter our hearts. And when love enters our hearts, even our greatest enemy can become our friend.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m in desperate need of inspiration. We’ve all been there, the stuck-in-a-rut, what-is-my-purpose-in-life kind of attitude that leads us to search high and low for something, someone, anything to tell us what direction we should be going in. I turned to the internet in hopes of finding some sort of guiding light, and surprisingly the internet gods heard my prayers. I am not sure yet what sorts of life goodness is going to come from all this inspiration, but I’m super excited about it.
My desire to write more has become stronger since coming across several blogs about motherhood, organization, and faith. One of those blogs has brought me to this very post. The Nesting Place is hosting a 31 day challenge where bloggers write about one topic for the month of October. There are tons of links already on her blog. So. much. inspiration.
I hesitated before making the decision to join in on this challenge. My hesitation came from fear. Fear of not being as good of a writer as other are, fear of not being interesting, fear of being vulnerable, fear of not being enough. I began to realize that fear stops me from doing a lot of things. So, I am choosing to let go of that fear. I want to let go of the negativity that clouds my mind and the doubt that overcomes my faith in what I know to be true. I want to let go of clutter, tangible and intangible, that hinders me from being my best self. It’s going to be an interesting adventure, and I hope that along the way I can be a source of inspiration for someone else.
Day 1: Getting. It. Done.
Day 3: Fear
Day 4: Unplugged
Day 5: Positive Thinking
Day 6: Because you have to
Day 7: Letting go at 17 months
Day 9: Love your enemy
Day 11: Sound of Silence
Day 12: Letting go of the plan
Day 13: Peace
Day 14: Letting go of control
Day 15: My Miscarriage Story
Day 16: Where you are, Lord, I am free
Day 17: Day 17
Day 18: Letting yourself go
Day 19: Surrender
Day 20: 10 to Zen
Day 21: Officially a Houzzer
Day 22: Being me
Day 23: Letting go of worry
Day 24: We can’t be afraid of change
Day 25: Grace
Day 27: You are Beautiful
Day 29: On turning 32
Day 30: Clearing the Clutter