There have been quite a few milestones celebrated in our household as of late that have somewhat prompted me to feel a tad bit overwhelmed at life in general. My first born turned 2 (waahhhhh), I gave birth to my second babygirl shortly thereafter, and my husband and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. Seriously, where has the time gone? Everything in me is telling me to be happy and excited and joyful that my daughters are growing and that my marriage has survived this long – and I am happy, really. But there is also a little tiny voice inside me that cringes every time I think about how fast life is going and how so much changes from one moment to the next.
I’m not a fan of change. I never have been. Change requires adjusting to new things, and that takes work. It calls for the acceptance of challenges that perhaps were not welcome. Change ignites fear. And I don’t like feeling afraid.
I recently found out via Instagram that some of my besties took a weekend trip out of town without me. TFTI. To say that I was hurt would be an understatement. We always take trips together – everyone is always included, no matter how far we are living away from each other or what phase of life we are in at the time. Yes, I have one-month-old baby at home so of course I would not have gone anyway, but no one likes to feel left out. Least of all the woman who is still suffering from a bit of the baby blues! It took me a couple days to get over it, but I spent those days sad and deeply hurt that I wasn’t included. I know my besties well enough to know that my lack of invitation wasn’t for any reason but the fact that they knew I was busy at home with a newborn.
I’m so not a fan of change.
Alas, I am also slowly realizing that things are different now whether I like it or not. My life is different. I’m different. And I can’t expect the rest of the world to roll with me. I’ve spent some time thinking about all these changes and have decided to embrace it all. This isn’t going to be easy for me, but one thing I hate more than change is regret. And if I don’t start embracing this season of my life, it’ll pass me by before I know it.